I Do

    For the record, I am not an expert on marriage.  Clearly.  I’m not married.  So please don’t for a second think that I consider myself to know more than you, especially if you’re married.  I do however read the Bible on a regular basis and I’ve seen what it has to say about the subject and I just wanted share some of my thoughts.

I’ve recently discovered a huge frustration in my life.  I mean this one is big.  It’s when married men talk about their wives as if they are “just” their wives.  There’s nothing special about it, it’s more work than anything, and the marriage relationship is presented as a hassle that they are forced to put up with.  Us single guys who are still excited about the idea of getting married are strongly encouraged to wait because we don’t know what we are getting ourselves into.  We hear things like, “The first two years are great, and then it’s all down hill from there.”

Do me a favor; don’t paint yourself as a victim.  This seems strange to me.  It’s like we’re supposed to feel sorry for them or something because their relationship isn’t what it used to be.  Now, I understand that not all relationships are the same and that marriage does require a lot of work, but if your relationship to your wife isn’t what it used to be then I can probably guess that you have something to do with it. 

Here’s why I get really frustrated though.  The Bible uses the relationship of a husband and wife as a powerful illustration to describe the relationship between God and his people.  That means that as followers of Christ one of the most powerful examples we have to show people what it’s like to know God and be in a relationship with Him is the marriage relationship; how husbands love their wives and vise versa.

Your marriage isn’t jut about you.  We live in a broken world that lacks true examples of love.  Nothing is as good as it seems and nothing seems to last.  I refuse to believe that is true.  A marriage relationship where two people love each other in a sacrificial way; where a spouse’s fulfillment, satisfaction, and happiness comes from serving the other, offers hope.  It proves to people that you can love and be loved in the way you’ve always dreamed of. 

Here's an idea.  The next time you hear a spouse talking about the other in a positive way, one that reveals passion, love, and commitment, say thank you.  It is such a nice thing to hear.