The one-eyed critic

Thanks to everyone who reads this and double thanks to those of you who have sent me messages about what I think about. It really means a lot!

I like the way rain on hot pavement smells, but I don't like the dead worms scattered all over the place.

I'm going to Tampa, Fla this weekend for The Next Big Thing music festival. Jimmy Eat World, Angels and Airwaves, Mute Math, Paramore, Sum 41, Shiny Toy Guns and a whole lot more. Not to mention Michael, Matt, and Rob. Its going to be great.

I don't like it when someone slaps you on the lower back, even if its on accident, it hurts, and the kind of hurt that makes me angry. Its kind of funny actually.

Do you have any idea how many half read books I have sitting around my room? Probably not. Well there's like 5. Half read books...is that grammatically correct?

One thing I'm getting tired of doing is critiquing other people. It really is getting old. People who like to communicate scripture also like to listen to other people that like to communicate scripture on podcasts and things like that. But we also like to decide who is better than who and who is legit and who preaches the Word better and on and on and on. I don't mind having preferences and favorites, but I'm tired of calling someone right and another person wrong. Its too close to the whole judging thing.

It seems that we humans love to sit back and judge the world according to our standards our rules and we really have no idea about their world, or their rules. I think perhaps why Jesus had such a problem with judging has to do with the fact that good ole Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That sounds like the knowledge to be able to determine whats right and whats wrong...the knowledge that enables one to judge perhaps? That right is reserved for Mr. Almighty Himself and I'm quite alright with letting Him do it. Judgement looks an awful lot like the first rebellion, but then again so do a lot of other things that I find myself doing.

Thinking

I saw August Rush last night. Pretty good movie. Although I think it was the cheesy version of what it should have been. That makes since to me. Dialogue was a little weak, but it was a great story. It touches on the truth that music is powerful. Robin Williams who played a crazy street musician named Wizard said, "Music is God's little reminder that there's more than this, more than us out there." Well put.

Girls smell so much better than boys.

You should listen to the podcast Story by Donald Miller when he spoke at Mars Hill. Its interesting. Here's to telling a good story.

"To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice." Proverbs 21:3
-You could talk about this from many different angles, but it seems we're quicker to give something up or deprive ourselves from something for God than we are to do what is right. Is this easier?

"The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is, ' because the kingdom of God is within you." Luke 17:20-21
-I often look for the kingdom of God outside or separate from myself, as if something else will usher it in. God has chosen to reveal it through us and the way we live. Privilege and responsibility. I'm feelin ya Spiderman.

Hope (part deux)

Should I be bothered that no one comments on my blogg? That is a shameless attempt to get your comments :).

One of my favorite things to watch is milk or cream being poured into coffee...gorgeous.

Mike and Ikes might be the best road trip candy.

Rachel is on her way home. Yay!

Hope. Our world doesn't have much. We live during a time when you don't have to convince people that this world is messed up, that its not the way its supposed to be. Believer's, non-believers alike, we can all admit it. Watch the news, read the paper, look at the world around you. Horrible things happen. Hope is what people need.

Thats what I love about Jesus. He brings so much hope. He is hope incarnate. I read through the gospels and time and time again before Jesus heals someone He lets them know that it is according to their faith that they are healed. Interesting. He really doesn't have to say it that way, but He...does. It's according to YOUR faith. Its like Jesus doesn't just want to heal their sickness, but He wants them to know that there is something incredibly powerful living inside of them that can accomplish unbelievable things.

Often it seems that our goal as "Christians" is for people on the outside to look at our lives and feel bad about how they are living. Its almost as if we want people to walk away from us feeling like garbage because somehow thats going to make them change. Conviction is part of the process, but its not the end that we're working for. People walked away from an ecounter with Jesus knowing that it was according to THEIR faith, they walked away believing that they didn't have to live this way anymore, they walked away with hope that there was a better way to live. Hope.

Hope

I believe in God. That's not something I change my mind about that much, well ever. I do have doubts sometimes, but they never lead me to give up my belief in God. I say this because I think its funny that I have these moments where I'm so confronted by the fact that there is a God that I almost lose my mind.

There are these events, realizations, or encounters that stop me where I'm at and almost completely shut me down. Its like everything we've heard about is true. How good He is. How big He is. How much He loves us. Its all true. This God whose dream is responsible for all that we see and know is real.

It reminds me of the Santa days of Christmas. Going to bed on the 24th so excited, so anxious. Waking up in the morning and tip toeing my way to the living room, holding my breath. Hoping that everything I believed about Christmas and Santa would somehow find its way to my living room and then seeing the evidence that he was actually here. I know there are plenty of reasons why this is a bad analogy for my belief in God, but one thing I do understand is that there is hope involved. God is hope realized. Hope that there is something out there that makes this worth it, makes it right. God is like everything we've heard about. God is our hope.

Inspiration

Q-tips have to be one of the greatest inventions of all time. The after shower version is my favorite.

Fall=chapped lips and I like that.

Angels and Airwaves makes me think of God. No, really. I'm not even sure if these guys are followers of Christ, or if they meant for their cd to inspire me to worship, but seriously. This is what gets me a little frustrated. Of all people who should be inspired shouldn't it be followers of Jesus? We have so much to be inspired by! I get tired of Christian garbage. Here's the formula for the majority of Christian music, or atleast the way I see it; how many nice things can i say about God in three minutes+a cheap melody+pop's latest flavor of the month= a 14.95 worship cd.

God is worthy of so much more than that. I listen to things like Angels and Airwaves, wether they're followers of Christ or not, Sigur Ros, Mute Math, Coldplay, and I reminded of the fact that we are created in the image of a creative God.

The other night I sat and watched a friend of mine, Aaron Robertson, do what God created him to do, make music. Thats how I define inspiration. Its coming in contact with the infinite that is buried inside of us. When it happens its beautiful, powerful, and right. Be inspired today.

Aaron Robertson...keep making that music!

War of the worlds

Tom Cruise is crazy. Spooky magic man.

Hasn't Dip n Dots been the ice cream of the future for long enough?

Whats behind this feeling of accomplishment that we like so much? Is it the satisfaction of doing something we haven't done before, or is it the relief that comes with checking something off our "to do list"?

But then, we live in far too many worlds, and they seem to be way too small. We trap ourselves into these compartmentalized little lives that somehow have nothing to do with eachother. They are convienent and play by our rules. There is only one world and all of us live in it together. See was driving in town the other day and it was pouring down rain, i mean K-9's and felines, a regular toad washer. There was this guy walking in the rain, drenched and miserable. I thought to myself, "If I didn't have somewhere to go I'd give this guy a ride, but I mean I have things to do so of course it makes since that I won't." Then I looked at all the cars driving by that were probably thinking the same thing. Its like, "this is my world and you don't fit into it right now."

We're all in this together. Injustice happens all around us all the time, just because it doesn't affect us doesn't mean it has nothing to do with us. The fact that it happens in the world we live in should bother us. I'm not sure if any of this makes since, I just want the world to be a different place because I'm in it, and because there's a God whose dream has died in order that it would come true.

October Sky

I just arrived back in South Carolina after a quick trip home to Indiana. It was basically a trip which enabled me to hit my "reset button." Lets be honest, a lot has changed since the last time I was home and I really just wanted the ten hour drive to be my labratory for sorting things out.

Honestly the only thing, besides family and friends, that I miss about Indiana is the fall. Its beautiful there this time of year. The trees are all burnt colors, harvest decorations are out, the smell of burning leaves, and my personal favorite; the sky. It looks so...old. The clouds seem so close and they're this sort of ancient grey color that causes me to be very reflective. The following are some things that I thought about during my adventure. I apologize in advance.

I find some of the similarities that exist between virtually all people from all over the world to be really interesting. From what I understand, civilizations formed after the separation of Pangaea, the super continent, but you find so many similarities between different ethnic groups. I'm not making any claims about the existence of God, I'm just pointing out a few things.
1. Weapons. So many cultures developed spears, knives, and swords. I know. They're not very complicated, but a lot of people had the same idea. But what about the bow and arrow? I mean who didn't come up with that idea? The American Indians, Europeans, and Asians all shot at each other with feather tipped death sticks.
2. Clapping. Whose idea was this? Oh I have a great idea. Whenever someone does something deemed excellent, lets slap our hands together really fast for a long period of time.
3. Singing. I wonder if everyone does this in the shower?
4. This one might be my favorite. Somehow everyone designated the movement of ones head up and down to mean "yes", and from side to side to mean "no." Figure that one out.
5. We all laugh at humorous things and cry at sad things. Big deal I know.
-anybody else have anymore?

I recently had someone tell me that they believe that when they meet the person they're supposed to be with for the rest of their lives they're just going to know, like God is going to tell them, "this is the one for you." I have to admit, I don't think it works that way. That doesn't sound like the God I know from the Bible. The one that seems to not want to give you more than you need to know for right now (Exodus 16, Matthew 6:34, James 4:13-15). Plus everyone that tells you they knew right away that their spouse was "the one", tells you in hindsight. They're already married, of course they can tell you that they knew from the first time they met them. I would love to travel back in time and corner the guy who says this and ask him right after he met his future wife and ask him if he is going to marry that girl. I'm sure that there is something different about the encounter that gets your attention, but I don't think they know for certain this is the one for them. God requires us to live by faith and I don't think that a relationship is any different. It takes daily submission and commitment and growth for it to work.

Thats all for now, more will follow.

...

Its hard to pick one thing to write about. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. One thing is for sure; God never stops being God.

Faith is such a bizarre thing. Its one of those ideas that we think we have figured out, but when you observe the way we live you'll find we're pretty close to clueless about the subject. Jesus would get so frustrated with the Jews because they would constantly ask for a sign to prove that He was the Christ. He wouldn't do it because He knew that no matter how many signs He gave them they would ask for another, and another. Its like we prompt Jesus, "Ok, you do enough to prove to me that you're worthy of my life, and I'm in. I'll have faith." But His idea of faith is a little different. He says, "Put your faith in Me and you'll see why I'm God and why you aren't."

I just want to believe. I want to believe that God is good, that He's right. I want faith, not because of what He's done, but because of who He is.

Painfully Beautiful

I'm not one to share my personal life on the internet, so pardon the lack of details. The past week has been without question the most painful of my entire life. I've lost something that meant so much to me. I lost her.
I find myself in a strange place. I hurt, but I don't regret. I've discovered that life is this painfully beautiful wreck that somehow wiggles itself into making since when you least expect it. The way I feel now...horrible, but what I see is, in a way, beautiful. It's life. It's real. It's raw. It's messy.
I don't want any of it back. Its all hers to keep. Parts of me will always be hers and I don't want them back. They belong where they are.
Its so great that God has made us people who are capable of sharing our lives with others. The danger is in making this a trivial thing and not respecting the implications it has. But I do praise God that my soul is capable of touching another. Friends, family, loved ones. We don't just co-exist. We can actually share life together, and as painful as that is, it's also incredibly beautiful.

New Ends and Old Beginnings

Approaching the end is usually a bit stranger than the end itself. Needless to say there has been a whole lot of change taking place in my little corner of the universe. Well, see thats the thing...the change hasn't taken place yet, its just about to. Its almost like the apprehension before pulling of the bandaide is somewhat worse than actually pulling it off. I'm in no way defining my current circumstances with the removing of a scabby bandaide, but I think there are some similarities.

Last night was Reverand Wade Joye's last Ignite. It was strange, but awesome. It felt like worship was genuine and passionate. I was just reminded how good of a thing we have here and I'm honestly just going to be a bit sad without it. There is also a fear inside of me that ten years down the road I'm going to look back at this as my peak. Its not that the past four years haven't been great...they've been remarkable, but my hope is to always be reaching for the next step.

Wade-wow. You are such an awesome man of God and I know you will read this because in all of your computer savy your superior intellect will inform you of my new blogg. You have been one of the greatest human influences in my life and I can confidently say that I probably have never been around a better man. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

God has informed me that I have been asking the wrong question. My question is usually, "What great thing do you have for me to do?"-lets be honest, I don't talk like that...I think I stole that from Oswald Chambers or something-I think God is instead instructing me to ask, "Who is the great man you would have me to be." I think what we do flows every so naturally out of who we are. I wonder if all the great men of God were even aware of the great things they were doing for Him because they were so occupied with trying to be like Him.

Most of my bad decisions were just one "No" away from not happening. Thats encouraging and disheartening at the same time. Does, "I gave it my best shot" sound familiar? Yeah, me too. I'm not so sure that I'm called to give it my best shot, but instead to use His limitless power to live the life He has called me to. I mean seriously, God hasn't commanded us to live a life incapable of livivng.

Um..."cough, cough"...how's it goin?

Maybe if I don't make such a big deal about how long its been since I last posted a blog no one will notice...
Hello world-wide web. I honestly don't know what to write about I just feel guilty for taking up some sort of space on the internet and doing nothing with it. Lets just see what happens.

Rachel...I miss you! I know I can be an insensitive, and horrible...fill in the explicitive...of a friend, BUT I love your guts and I'm praying my face off for you..not really, but I'm doing to start. You really are a great friend and the truth of that is deeply felt and also realized when you're not around.

I want to be the kind of person that greets the greeter at Wal-Mart. I mean even beat them to the greet...be a "greeter beater" maybe...Rachel is laughing right now about this. I tried it today and I definitely won and totally caught the old chap by surprise. I've started my greeter beater career off to a wonderful start. 1-0...FAAAntastic.

Over the past decade since I've written on this thing there has been a lot on my mind, a lot that I intended to blog about, but one moment has made its way to the front of the line. I was asked to speak at a spring retreat a few months ago by a youth pastor friend and I went. It was a great experience and I loved every second of it. Especially this particular moment. One of the junior high boys asked me to talk with him one night after the session. We sat on the porch of this gorgeous beach house in that akward silence that everyone enjoys so much, and I asked him what was up. he had the hardest time getting the question out. He started to ask it atleast three times but he would stop before he spoke the first word each time. Finally he managed to ask me with his head down and his ridiculously cool hair in his face, "How...how do you love?"

Any suggestions? I was floored, honestly. I had spent the entire night talking about the subject and the need for more of it, but then this happened. I almost asked him to ask me another question. I mean seriously. I've been wrestling with this question ever since. I mean yeah, I could give the typical answers that we've all heard or read..."serving others, giving, caring...blah blah blah." But I'm not sure the most powerful action in the universe can be explained with the Boy Scout motto. Love requires a whole lot of somebody, maybe even everything.

So maybe I'm going to be ok with spending my entire life learning how to love and then hopefully I can give my entire life to the cause of doing it.

tastey tastey

I don't like the way my mouth feels right now. I ate some of these chocolate candy eggs, they were marvelous, but now my mouth feels like its covered in rubber cement. Good thing my parents got me an electric toothbrush.
Speak of brushing my teeth. Does anyone else have to go pee when they are brushing their teeth or washing dishes? Vaccuming as well. Maybe I just pee a lot.
Tonight, I colored eggs. This would have definitely been an activity that would have forced me to question my manhood if there hadn't been a girl involved. Mary suggested we color eggs tonight, so we colored eggs. I actually really got into it, but I discovered that my masculinity makes it difficult for me to be a stellar egg decorator.
Tomorrow, I'm going to the mountains. I'm very very ready. Maybe I'll wrestle a bear.

So This Is How You Do It...

How about a normal blogg? Lets give it a shot....

I was going to try and not do this, but again in the words of Squince Paladoras, who seems to be my hero, I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'm at that point where if I'm honest I'm not really all that happy for my girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's had an amazing time and she's learned and grown so much, because wow she has, but now I'm just ready for her to come home. Its like, "ok Dominican, you've had you're four months, now I, and the rest of her friends/family, want her back." Ok, enough for the blogg PDA....well almost enough...i'm crazy about her.

On another note, God has just been...well awesome. I've seen Him do so much in the past week, from college group to The Remix and then Ignite. Its jaw dropping to see Him do such real work. I love when our faith gets removed from its comfy little box and becomes real. I love when you see real, authenitc life change in both yourself and other people. I saw some real authentic life change over this past week and its reminded me of why I accepted this ludacris call into the ministry. Its about real people, hurting and broken, coming to meet Jesus. Its rejuivinating. I get kind of tired sometimes of taking care of Christians. Thats not a shot at anyone, it just seems how the church in general runs things. Take care of who we got and then we can worry about those other people. And I don't mean specifically my church, but just our church, the American church if you will. Its just nice to see someone genuinely just want to know God. This girl accepted Christ on Sunday and it was just...right. She apologized for hurting God and it was so sincere. She even apologized for throwing away her "Jesus is My Homeboy" shirt, and then she humbly asked Jesus to be hers. Wow.

This Jesus thing, its...real.

Hmm...

• Driving around with the windows down listening to Jack Johnson and or G. Love on one of those abnormally warm "winter"days.
• Really good coffee.
• Chocolate milk.
• Seeing someone you love after not seeing them for a long time.
• Taking off your shoes and socks after a long day and rubbing them into the carpet.
• Getting ridiculously sunburned at the beach, going back to the hotel room, showering and going out to eat.
• Meeting new people.
• Hanging out in the kitchen telling stories and laughing until your throat is sore.
• A really good workout.
• First kisses.
• Watching little kids play in a fountain on a hot day.
• Birds.
• Driving by yourself at night listening to a song that comes alive when the sun goes down.
• Wet asphalt.
• The way the trees sound when the breeze dances with them.
• Getting lost in a good book.
• Laughing when you're not supposed to.
• Licking the frosting off of a cupcake.
• New places.
• Being afraid.
• The cool spots under the pillow and in the sheets.
• Eye contact.

I love knowing that whenever I experience these things that they aren't just accidents, but they are proof that I am loved by a God with a huge imagination. Because I know God, these aren't just experiences that I hope for, these are places where I find God and I am swept away by His love for me. "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world and all who live it in." Psalm 24:1. "My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn."

7 dollars and 50 cents worth of macho madness

I came home last night and went to bed a man. I went with some friends to see the movie 300, somebody should warn you about a movie like that. If I wouldn't have been for the soothing effect of Cherry Coke, I may have waylaid the entire theatre. The testosterone in me was screaming to get out. But for serious, the movie was great, minus the incredibly awkward nude/sex scenes. Go see it...twice maybe.

S.O.S.

I almost forgot. I need help editing my blogg. Like with links and such. I don't know how to do it, and how do I make my blogg look all cool and trendy. I'm really not digging the templates blogger has to offer. Help me please.

Diggle Diggle

I don't have much to say, but I saw Rachel do this so I want to do this. Here's a list of some of my new favorite things...

10. Organic peanut butter.
9. The Mediterranian Cafe's grilled chicken and vegetables.
8. Amos Lee.
7. Tostones and the green tomatilla sauce.
6. Blogger-I have a new obsession.
5. Speed Stak.
4. The Battle for Middle Earth II for the Xbox 360-shut up.
3. Xbox 360.
2. My new Canon digital camera.
1. Not having a parasite living in my intestines any more.

Dude. How could I not inform the world about THAT. As most of you know I went down to the Domincan Republic...i like how i said "as most of you know", like everyone that knows me is reading this or something. I had an amazing time with my girlfriend. I do think this is the first time I've mentioned her in my blog. I don't know why I don't talk about her more on here. Yeah I do. I feel like if I were to talk about her on here it would almost be a strange form of PDA and I'm not a huge PDA guy. Anyway. Had a great time and then I came home. I got home on a monday and then thursday night I started getting these weird cramps. It felt like I had the bubble gut but I was firing blanks. All bark and no bite kind of thing. Friday waaaas a different story. I proceded to have the green apple quick step for 5 days followed by two days of my best impression of a plado fun factory. I am happy to report that I am up and at em thanks to some awesome antibiotics and some groovy little muscle relaxers. There ya go folks. I'm lightening up my posts.

pea-sized bologna

I was reading the back of my toothpaste tube yesterday so that I could enlarge my dental hygene data base. I had honestly never read the "Directions" on the back of the tube and I had some time to kill so I took a look at what Crest had to say about brushing your teeth. Did you know that they instruct you to put a "pea-sized" amount onto your brush? I mean come on. Really? Here we are trusting the health of our canines and molars to a company that measures the accurate amount of toothpaste in vegetable sizes. Is this some kind of conspiracy? Do Crest and DelMonte have some sort of deal in this?

Home

Home, everyone has one. For those of us in college or just out of college, we tend to have two; where your parents are and where you live now. I guess I bring it up because I recently traveled to see my girlfriend in the Dominican Republic which required me to stop in New York City. I love New York City because of its people. Yes, they're rude and they have some ridiculous accents, but there's so many of them! Something happens to me when I see that many people. I was only in the airport, but the airport is filled with so many stories. So many people going to so many different places with so many different homes! It floors me sometimes to think about how much I don't know. How many people I haven't met whose stories have nothing to do with me. I find myself people watching and asking myself in my mind and sometimes out loud, "Where did this person just come from? Where are they going to? Where's home?" Its fun, but it kind of gets my head spinning.

Of course God comes into the picture. Not only does God know everybody's story, but the person whom the story belongs to was His idea. He put them together thought by thought, completely on purpose and I guess when I'm confronted with all of those people with all of those stories I get a fragment of an idea of how big God is. Big seems like a silly word compared to God after seeing so many stories coming from and going to so many places.

I'm a Lion

I've decided that if I were an animal, I'd be a lion. I don't care what you think, I don't want to hear any crap about looking like a friggin teddy bear, because I'm not. I'm fierce, I'm wild, and I'm the king of the stinkin jungle. If you have a problem with this I'll eat your face off. What animal would you be?