New Ends and Old Beginnings

Approaching the end is usually a bit stranger than the end itself. Needless to say there has been a whole lot of change taking place in my little corner of the universe. Well, see thats the thing...the change hasn't taken place yet, its just about to. Its almost like the apprehension before pulling of the bandaide is somewhat worse than actually pulling it off. I'm in no way defining my current circumstances with the removing of a scabby bandaide, but I think there are some similarities.

Last night was Reverand Wade Joye's last Ignite. It was strange, but awesome. It felt like worship was genuine and passionate. I was just reminded how good of a thing we have here and I'm honestly just going to be a bit sad without it. There is also a fear inside of me that ten years down the road I'm going to look back at this as my peak. Its not that the past four years haven't been great...they've been remarkable, but my hope is to always be reaching for the next step.

Wade-wow. You are such an awesome man of God and I know you will read this because in all of your computer savy your superior intellect will inform you of my new blogg. You have been one of the greatest human influences in my life and I can confidently say that I probably have never been around a better man. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

God has informed me that I have been asking the wrong question. My question is usually, "What great thing do you have for me to do?"-lets be honest, I don't talk like that...I think I stole that from Oswald Chambers or something-I think God is instead instructing me to ask, "Who is the great man you would have me to be." I think what we do flows every so naturally out of who we are. I wonder if all the great men of God were even aware of the great things they were doing for Him because they were so occupied with trying to be like Him.

Most of my bad decisions were just one "No" away from not happening. Thats encouraging and disheartening at the same time. Does, "I gave it my best shot" sound familiar? Yeah, me too. I'm not so sure that I'm called to give it my best shot, but instead to use His limitless power to live the life He has called me to. I mean seriously, God hasn't commanded us to live a life incapable of livivng.

Um..."cough, cough"...how's it goin?

Maybe if I don't make such a big deal about how long its been since I last posted a blog no one will notice...
Hello world-wide web. I honestly don't know what to write about I just feel guilty for taking up some sort of space on the internet and doing nothing with it. Lets just see what happens.

Rachel...I miss you! I know I can be an insensitive, and horrible...fill in the explicitive...of a friend, BUT I love your guts and I'm praying my face off for you..not really, but I'm doing to start. You really are a great friend and the truth of that is deeply felt and also realized when you're not around.

I want to be the kind of person that greets the greeter at Wal-Mart. I mean even beat them to the greet...be a "greeter beater" maybe...Rachel is laughing right now about this. I tried it today and I definitely won and totally caught the old chap by surprise. I've started my greeter beater career off to a wonderful start. 1-0...FAAAntastic.

Over the past decade since I've written on this thing there has been a lot on my mind, a lot that I intended to blog about, but one moment has made its way to the front of the line. I was asked to speak at a spring retreat a few months ago by a youth pastor friend and I went. It was a great experience and I loved every second of it. Especially this particular moment. One of the junior high boys asked me to talk with him one night after the session. We sat on the porch of this gorgeous beach house in that akward silence that everyone enjoys so much, and I asked him what was up. he had the hardest time getting the question out. He started to ask it atleast three times but he would stop before he spoke the first word each time. Finally he managed to ask me with his head down and his ridiculously cool hair in his face, "How...how do you love?"

Any suggestions? I was floored, honestly. I had spent the entire night talking about the subject and the need for more of it, but then this happened. I almost asked him to ask me another question. I mean seriously. I've been wrestling with this question ever since. I mean yeah, I could give the typical answers that we've all heard or read..."serving others, giving, caring...blah blah blah." But I'm not sure the most powerful action in the universe can be explained with the Boy Scout motto. Love requires a whole lot of somebody, maybe even everything.

So maybe I'm going to be ok with spending my entire life learning how to love and then hopefully I can give my entire life to the cause of doing it.